If there was nothing else I could do, I always prayed: "Dear God, please make sure this is not true," or "Help me find my keys." I took care of the rest. I did not tax God unnecessarily because I was a capable person and I didn't think He could achieve anything better. The possibility He would spend time on my problems was unimaginable. I was convinced the answer would be, "You can do it yourself" or "It's your own fault, so accept the consequences."
After a few years in Al-Anon, I came to accept my powerlessness over the alcoholic in my life. However, because I could not bear the powerlessness for long, I sought help in the Second Step. At that point I became aware that I perceived God as a cold, merciless being who could not spare time to help anyone as useless as me.
I heard some members talk of God as gracious, loving, and supportive. Could this be true? The Third step asked me to do something new -- to hand over control of my will and my life, not knowing exactly who this God was or whether He would help me. At that time in my life, I was drowning in problems. I figured God couldn't slip up too much in just one day. I tried Step Three and turned myself over for the first 24 hours. I paid close attention to how I was feeling that evening. I felt good, so He got my will and my life for another 24 hours. Each new day I turn myself over to God's care because what He does is well done.
Thought for the Day
I need only turn myself over one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
"I began turning my life over five minutes at a time and watching God very carefully to see what happened."
From Survival to Recovery, p. 34
Linda Gorham Yankton South Dakota